Lady Luck Speaks

Desi dating and desires from the doctor of delight.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Siamese Superstition

Sri Lankans are a funny bunch. Passionate, hospitable, cheerful and contradictory. Sri Lankan superstitions are equally entertaining; you can choose to laugh with them, or indeed at them.

My favourite superstition has to be the avoidance of 'wrongly-sized' fruit and vegetables by the fairer sex. I've come across a lot of 'wrong' fruit in my time. My mother has thankfully put a stop to my consumption of them as she doesn't fancy me coping with the uncertainty of carrying conjoined twins.

She has also taken it upon herself to verbally beat this mantra into me - I fear the consequences of not taking this mantra seriously as I may be (physically) pounded harder than the streets in the Kandy Perehera instead!

Incidentally, the definition of 'wrong' is one of size and number (Sri Lankans never do things by halves!).

I can see why people would avoid a rotting/under-ripe piece of fruit/vegetable.

What I don't understand is the need to avoid 'doubled'/bifid forms of the similar fruits and vegetables. Whilst the birth of conjoined-twins can result in joy/heartache of similar measure, the presence of more fruit/vegetable-matter available within the item reprsents a) greater value for money and b) more taste/flavour?

Surely chopping up/pureeing the offending item will negate the overall 'wrongness' of the piece?

And what about the fathers? I'd assume sperm production takes equal responsibility in the matter, so how come the men don't have to avoid 'doubles' too?

Alas, I won't be the one to tell you the answer. One of you, who has already gone on to complete their family, will have to tell me!

There's most probably a reason for Sri Lanka's virtually nonexistent rate of conjoined twin production - and this my dears, is most probably it.


At 11:18 AM, Blogger ros said...

That's odd. My mother said something about having twins if I ate those 'double-plaintains' but nothing about them being conjoined!

Darn it! I have 50 conjoined babies to come! ;)

At 11:39 AM, Blogger Darwin said...

Lol yes my mum used to tell me not to eat conjoined bannanas when I was a kid, I don't think she was too serious about it though.

Scientifically speaking, non-disjunction of an embryonic cell would not be influenced in the slightest by the consumption of a 'double-fruit'.

At 1:30 AM, Blogger S said...

Agreed Darwin - I don't understand how the consumption of a conjoined banana could delay splitting of the embryo 'til day 12!

I think Ros is safe :)


At 10:29 PM, Blogger Lady divine said...

My grandma was totally into it and she never let me have conjoined fruits...
And only now I know why.. Can you believe it, they never even told me why they wouldn't let me eat them!
Whoever came up with that!

At 11:05 AM, Blogger shaq said...

Tribute to the nice guys

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

At 1:19 PM, Blogger N (aka Childof25) said...

So the nice guys out there have found their 'jesus'? Well whatever said and done hats off to the nice guys for cleaning up the mess us arseholes leave we can come back again:)


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