Lady Luck Speaks

Desi dating and desires from the doctor of delight.

Monday, June 04, 2007


As most of you know, this 'responsible Baby-Doc' gubbins I present to the big bad world is just a front. Lurking under the surface is a not-so-secret hedonist, hellbent on finding pleasure in many ways, shapes or forms!

Since my opportunity for pleasure has been rather subdued in the run-up to finals, the pleasures I've had of late have been of the simple, comparatively sedate variety. Summer-fruits, sorbets and the sweet feeling of having put over half your exams behind you.

My good friend female R and I went out to lunch, t'other day, as a token attempt at celebration. We chose Sagar, a South Indian Vegetarian restaurant with branches all over West London.

Our reasons for this choice - R is a Vegetarian, we were close-by and 'The Gate' required a reservation.

Alas, as students do, we opted for the lunch special.

Little did we know that a lunch special for one meant enough food for three. Ordering two of these meant we'd got a family feast on our hands, with poppadums, starters (dhokra, boonda, samosas), salad, dosa, pilau rice and four curries each! The food was laid out in a thali, minus the banana-leaf but thoroughly Kerelan in every other way :)

Along with these goodies came dessert, consisting of a sole turd-coloured gulab jamun sitting in a stainless steel bowl of urine-coloured syrup.

Call me a scatophile, if you must - but the visuals and over-powering flavours of South Asian fresh fruit-less desserts described below, leaves much to be desired. You can totally see why an upbringing like mine made Sat Bains and Atul Kochar get it desperately wrong on the Great British Menu.

Watalappam - unevenly textured, slimy and wrong.

Pineapple fluff - leftover whey, blancmange and food colouring gone horribly wrong. A bit like Teletubby Custard with the texture and culinary charmlessness of ectoplasm.

Sauw/payasam - frog spawn. Nuff said.

Kavum - should be sent to hell for looking AND tasting bad.

Barfi - the consumer needs UV eye protection and gumshield prior to attempting to consume this cloying excuse of a fat-laden tooth-decay brick which was created for the sole purpose of providing business for other money-hungry Asian doctors and dentists.

Muscat and the abomination that is salted-buttercream Marie-Biscuit Pudding. Exactly which clown on this planet thought wartime rationing-inspired post-Pilawoos cosh was an excellent idea?

I'm interested in knowing exactly why South Asians are rubbish at making their own desserts.

We don't seem to have made much headway post-migration either - few seem to be aware of the world beyond the pleasures of Kulfi and Jalebi.

I for one, look forward to seeing an Asian-inspired dessert as part of the UK's culinary landscape :D


At 11:24 AM, Blogger ros said...

Oh, dear God, pineapple fluff. Why, why, why did it have to be luminous green? Why did it have to exist at all? And why did aunty S have to force-feed it to me so many times as a child!?

I actually think watallapam can be passable it it is done well.

At 1:33 AM, Blogger S said...

Pineapple fluff is one wrong in a long series of wrongs called the 'Sri Lankan Hotel Buffet Table'.

I have never seen/heard of those brightly coloured hybrids between a blancmange and a mousse elsewhere.

If anyone could enlighten me on the history of such nightmares, feel free!


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