Lady Luck Speaks

Desi dating and desires from the doctor of delight.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

10 Tips to Succeeding with Desi Females

Written with tongue-firmly-in-cheek with inspiration from other blogs. Just for you. Enjoy :D

10. If you meet a cute South Asian chick at a bar or club, don’t use the following words or related words; arranged marriage, curry, cricket, 'your culture', 'over-achieving', Punjabi suit and headscarf., Anything with Bollywood, turbans, what her family would think or the Karma Sutra. She might just throw her drink at you.

9. Don’t assume that they can’t speak English. They may be faking an accent to escape from the old, potbellied man in the corner who has traveled far and wide to “Indiaaah, during the war.”

8. No, I’m not Parminder Nagra or Konnie Huq.

7. Don’t ask them whether they’re submissive or dominant. (This has actually been asked to several friends of mine. No joke)

6. Going back to #10, most of us don’t know Punjabi fighting techniques, though we respect them. We don't all carry ceremonial swords, so don’t bust out some sort of weapon and assume that it will turn us on. Because it won’t.

5. If you do get further with a desi chick and attend a family function where you’re the only non-desi, have courtesy and try the food or at least put the food on your plate. Most of the family members are looking to see if you actually care about getting to know her culture. If you don’t like the cuisine, just smile, take over the conversation and possibly no one will notice.

4. Don’t assume that we are all professional submissives, masseuses or happy ending givers. Most of us are lawyers, students, doctors, dentists and academics, give or take a few writers and pharmacists. Okay, so that last one was slightly stereotypical but you get my drift?

3. Don’t assume that we only date brown guys. We like other guys too.

2. Don't assume that we're going to put out on the first dinner date. This applies to Scandinavian and German guys in particular.

1. Please don’t mention the words “Karma Sutra”, 'Princess Jasmine', 'Curry fever' or 'Asian flower' in front of us. Those words only serve to objectify.

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